And
although DNA may make one person more susceptible to becoming a bully than another,
most bullies are not born, they’re created. They’re molded, sometimes
instantly, and sometimes over many years, by hands of rejection, abandonment,
abuse, and heartache – and these hands always craft into the dead center of
every bully one thing: fear.
Fear
is the master; the bully is but its slave. Anytime you see a prideful man, you
see a man who is scared to death.
If
we bullies were honest with you, we would tell you a few things.
We
would tell you that the reason we make you feel so stupid, is because we’re
terrified you may figure out how smart you truly are – and if that happens, you’d
realize how dumb we truly are.
When
we control you, it’s because we are fearful that too much freedom may allow you
to see that you don’t really need us anymore.
When
we hurt you and intimidate you, it is because we hope that by keeping your head
down; you’ll never be able to look up – look up and see that we are actually
the ones trembling.
When
we make fun of your friends and your family, it’s because our hearts are wrenching
with jealously for that kind of love.
When
we nag, criticize, and point out your every weakness, it’s only because we’re petrified
you’ll get a taste of your true goodness – and realize how much better you are
than us.
We
are paranoid because we know we deserve the worst, and we assume everyone else sees it too.
We
don’t hate you; we hate how much we love you.
We
hate how much we need you.
We
hate how ugly we are, how weak we are, how broken we are, how lost and
desperate we are.
We
hate how scared we are.
So
we spend our life in a state of constant self-defense.
Until,
if we’re lucky, we get to the point where we can’t defend anymore, and we give
up – even if only long enough to murmur the plea, “Lord, help me.”
The
only cure to the bully’s ill is love. Not just any love, certainly not human
love, but only Perfect Love can cast out the fear that strangles and entangles the
bully’s heart.
Love
that never abandons, never fails, never lies, never takes advantage, never
controls, never abuses, and never disappoints – but rather Love that comforts,
heals, saves, forgives, and endures forever. Day by day, grace by grace, and “Lord, help me” by “Lord, help me,” Jesus Christ is taking my fear and insecurity -- and turning this born-again bully into a person who is free to love without fear.
The
only way to win the fight... is to quit fighting.
